I like watching Danny DeVito get excited about sandwiches

let’s talk about some good commercials

The thing I like about the Jersey Mike’s commercials with Danny DeVito is that the entire premise is “Danny DeVito is excited about sandwiches.” That’s it, really. It’s simple and straightforward. Sometimes they put him in a silly outfit or have him do a little dance but the underlying message remains exactly the same every time: Danny DeVito is going to get a sandwich soon and he is freaking jazzed about it.

I can relate to that. I am often excited about sandwiches, too. I don’t even need to be in a sandwich-related establishment to start getting excited about sandwiches. I am kind of always excited about sandwiches, actually, now that I think about it. Sandwiches I have eaten in the past, sandwiches I will eat in the future, sandwiches other people ate and have told me about, those big sandwiches in cartoons that are like four feet tall and you wouldn’t even begin to know how to eat if you had one of them in front of you, all of them. If you’re ever sitting around someday wondering what I’m up to, there’s a pretty good chance the answer is “getting excited about a sandwich.” My point is that I see where Danny is coming from in these commercials.

There have been a few of them in the years the campaign has been running, but this one is my favorite. It’s simple and straightforward and it makes me want to eat a sandwich, which is all I have ever asked for out of a commercial. Any commercial, really, for any product or service. But especially for one advertising sandwiches.

Some of this is Danny DeVito. I’m sure of that. He’s got decades of goodwill built up with the public and he’s not afraid to be a little silly and he’s a tiny 80-year-old man from New Jersey with a voice that sounds like he always has something in his mouth. That goes a long way toward making these work. I don’t know how many other celebrities can come across as charming while staring at lunchmeat with lust in their eyes. I’ve been thinking about it for a while and the only other option I’ve landed on is Emma Stone. I can’t fully explain this but I do stand by it.

It’s mostly the sandwiches, though, and the simplicity of the message. No one actually ever gets excited about, like, their credit card or car insurance provider, no matter how many celebrities or jingles give it a shot. Even commercials that do have an exciting product or experience to sell you can get lost in the woods by doing too much. Remember the Buffalo Wild Wings commercial from last March? How in the world anyone thought they should promote “Hey man, wouldn’t it be fun to eat some wings and watch college basketball with your buddies on the first weekend of March Madness?” with a loud asshole buffalo who destroyed the restaurant and ruined the whole vibe, I… I don’t know, man. I blame improv comedy troupes. Just in general. All of them.

But Danny DeVito getting hyped about a sandwich he’s about to eat? That I can dig. Look at his face. Look how happy he is about those sandwiches. That’s effective marketing. That’s how you do it. I barely even know what I’m typing right now because I’m thinking about the sliced pepper turkey I got at the grocery store yesterday. That’s going to be in a sandwich very soon and then it will be in my stomach not long after. None of this is helpful to Jersey Mike’s in the short-term but, in fairness, I wasn’t going out for lunch anyway today. Too cold. But I’ll get out there soon enough.

So, in summation:

• The Jersey Mike’s commercials with Danny DeVito are pretty good

• Emma Stone and Danny DeVito should do a TV show together, possibly set in a deli

• I love sandwiches

Lunchtime.

STUFF I TYPED

— my Friday newsletter, which is mostly about the trailer for the upcoming Accountant sequel but also a little about the monkey who took out power to all of Sri Lanka

— my weekly Severance thing for Vulture, which is getting more off-topic each episode

STUFF I CLICKED ON

— I am very much looking forward to Kelsey McKinney’s book on gossip after reading this excerpt, despite the fact that I do not even enjoy gossip

— GQ has a profile of Walton Goggins and an interview with Mina Kimes, two people whose work I enjoy very much for very different reasons

— good interview with a cranky Denzel

— Hubie Brown retired at age 91 and you can make a reasonable argument that no one has ever taught more people more things about basketball

— I did not care very much about the SNL 50 hubbub last weekend but I DID care very much about the star-studded reply-all email fiasco tied to a new Lorne Michaels book event

— time to listen to the Astronaut Jones song again

@scottobearAstronaut Jones w/ Britney Spears SNL 02/02/02

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— missing donkeys found

— “Opossum Hospitalized After Gorging On A Costco Chocolate Cake”

— my opinion is that if there are 100 venomous snakes in your yard then it is actually their yard now

— Cracker Barrel and Waffle House are engaged in a pun-crazy egg feud

— $1 million olive oil heist

— there was a lot of shouting last week when Hulu sent out an email saying they may be introducing ads to certain programs even when people are paying for the ad-free viewing experience but it turned out they just meant during live events like sports and award shows, which probably would not have upset people if they phrased it that way the first time

— Sigourney Weaver loves Baby Yoda

— Frankie Muniz loves race cars

— my beloved Super Bowl champion Eagles made me all emotional two times recently with sweet stories about them being good dudes

— tell em Landon

Okay, that’s it for this weekend. Please share and subscribe and enjoy a sandwich.