I think I'll have a salad for lunch today…
[roots around in fridge a bit]
Just something light…
[rips up some lettuce]
I’ve been slipping with my diet lately…
[chops up some cucumbers and carrots]
And I’m going out for dinner tonight so I definitely don’t want to overdo it this early in the day…
[tosses in a handful of cherry tomatoes]
Hmm… I should probably get some protein in here, you know, for energy this afternoon…
[shreds four entire leftover fried chicken thighs and spreads them across the top]
Yeah, this is really coming together…
[sprinkles on half a bag of processed shredded cheddar cheese]
A nice light salad for lunch…
[covers entire bowl with a one-inch layer of bacon bits]
Just needs a little dressing…
[adds five massive globs of creamy ranch]
Oh, right, almost forgot…
[dumps whole bag of cheesy garlic croutons on top]
A nice healthy salad…
[2700 calories]
Wow, I’m actually kind of proud of myself…
[shoves fork into bowl, pulls out only croutons and fried chicken]
I didn’t need all those carbs from a sandwich…
[ham and cheese on whole wheat bread, 425 calories]
You know what?
[slops ranch dressing and bacon bits all over t-shirt and sweatpants]
Since I behaved so well here…
[ate all the toppings and didn’t finish the lettuce or veggies]
I think I deserve a little treat…
[does not deserve a little treat]
Lemme see if I still have those ice cream bars in the freezer…
STUFF I TYPED
— the only thing I typed this week was kind of a bummer so let’s focus on this instead: my parents were in Florida for Spring Training last week and my mom texted me this picture of the Phanatic in midseason form with his hot dog cannon
STUFF I CLICKED ON
— “Wright Thompson wrote about Caitlin Clark” is very much something I will (and did) read
— I straight up do not remember what happened on House of the Dragon so this breakdown of the dueling new trailers by Meghan O’Keefe was very helpful
— Prehistoric Amphibian Ancestor Is Named for Kermit the Frog
— Tush Push: Legal
— Look at my sweet boys having fun
— 9-1-1 is currently two episodes into an extended arc about a honeymoon cruise gone awry due to hurricanes and cartel-affiliated gunmen (it’s a beautiful television program) but I can’t get over these screencaps I made of Angela Bassett
— The federal government is sick of the broken ice cream machines at McDonalds
— Little Rascal bandits robbed a bank
— I swear to God this wasn’t me
— The government has a secret bunker filled with $2 bills
— This post from Bluesky is only funny if you’ve been watching Shogun and spend way too much time online but I check all the boxes here so I have been laughing at it all week
— This week marked the 20th anniversary of the implosion of Veterans Stadium, which I mention here for three reasons: one, implosions are cool and we should do them more; two, I was a student at Temple University when this happened (before my spinal cord injury) and all my idiot friends and I stayed up all night partying and then took the subway down there in the morning and stood on the median of I-95 and whooped and shouted like bozos when the building turned to rubble; three, I once worked security (lol) at an Eagles game at the Vet and I was told to report anyone drinking outside beverages or leaning on this one big sign in my section and the first thing I saw when I got up there was an old man leaning against the sign who proceeded to offer me (age 18) a choice of two flasks, one with whiskey and one with just straight gin (I did not report him)
Okay, that’s it for this week. Please share and subscribe and invite me to an implosion.
For some reason, this week's newsletter reminded me of the Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" ads, specifically, the salute to the inventor of the giant taco salad: https://youtu.be/fXWq2AVlrsY?si=Xn3nnreXXiHNdEKT
I don't identify with that salad bit at all. I NEVER use bacon bits.
The biggest memory I have of the Vet as an (at the time) outsider is the time the Ravens refused to play a preseason game against the Eagles, literally after the teams had gone through warmups, because the turf was in such abominable condition.