please make more fun little friday night shows

television still has a surf dracula problem

Television is somehow both better than it has ever been and also an annoying mess. This has been a problem for a while now. It’s a few different problems at once, really. There’s the thing where a thousand streaming services spent many years spreading everything thinner than a layer of mustard on a poorly constructed sandwich, with everyone trying to make the next version of the last big hit, which was probably a hit because it was refreshing and new. There’s the thing where it’s hard to find something actually good among all the options. There’s the thing where both of those things — with a dash of the decline of the monoculture and the loss of a communal “yo did you see what happened on…” that makes watching these shows fun — lead to commitment anxiety when you do decide to start a show, wondering if the thing you’re going to dedicate 10 hours of your life to is going to be worth it or just make you angry when it can’t pay off the big thing it spent the whole time building towards. 

But the biggest issue, I think, still, years later, is the Surf Dracula problem. 

Three notes before we continue:

• Reasonable arguments can be made that this is the single best piece of television criticism of the last 10 years, as my former colleague Alan Sepinwall has pointed out a few times

• I would watch Surf Dracula 

• It is an infuriating trend that conflates quality television with the “actually the show is a 10-hour movie” thing that we are still doing for some godforsaken reason 

There’s another important point in there, too, which is kind of the flip side of the third bullet point. This relentless quest to make the next big fancy prestige drama or highbrow/goofy comedy — both terrific when done well, both Groan City when they whiff — has stripped away a valuable kind of show: the fun little thing to watch an episode of before bedtime. 

These shows go by a few names. Some people call them laundry folders. USA made a whole brand out of calling them Blue Sky TV, your various Psychs and Suitses and Burn Notices. I’ve always called them Friday Night Shows. Whatever the terminology, the gist is the same. Just something to put on for like 30-60 minutes that has a beginning, middle, and reasonably satisfying end. Maybe it advances an overarching plot as it all happens, but it’s not just one piece of a puzzle that makes no sense until you complete the whole thing. I love those kinds of shows. Not all the time, but definitely sometimes. 

There’s a range here, too. The temptation is to call these shows fluff and dismiss them. I don’t think that’s entirely fair. These shows can be a blast when done well. I could make an argument that Justified fell under this umbrella, just because it had a lot of complete little episodes during its seasons. I’ve been catching up on Lupin lately, which can be a little silly and formulaic but is usually a fun watch. Abbott Elementary is a great example of the sitcom version of this. The new Good Wife spinoff Elsbeth has promise as a case-of-the-week show, an important genre whose peak is probably still Columbo even 40 years later. There are options here. Just not enough. 

Honestly, I think it’s a big reason why Suits became so popular out of nowhere last year. I suspect people just craved a lower-stakes show that they could watch between one and eight episodes of on a rainy weekend, one where things were a little comfortable and familiar and everything didn’t hinge on a big whopper reveal in the finale that could end up making you feel like you wasted your time if it doesn’t land. There’s a real value to these kinds of shows. 

There’s value in all kinds of shows, really. And there’s room for all of them, too. Give me an insane little comedy to watch some nights and a huge sweeping epic to watch other nights give me Surf Dracula to watch between. Yes, by this last thing I mean “shows in the genre of Surf Dracula,” but also a show called Surf Dracula, specifically. Cast Matt Berry as Surf Dracula. I would binge the whole season next weekend. 

STUFF I TYPED

Okay, I did not write this segment of The Tonight Show where Jimmy Fallon interviews Ryan Gosling. I did not write anything this week, actually. But here’s where things get fun…

A few weeks ago, after Gosling stole the entire Oscars ceremony with his performance of I’m Just Ken, I fired off a little tongue-in-cheek next-day blog at Uproxx about how annoying it is that he is that handsome and talented while also being this charming. I don’t really mean that. I love Ryan Gosling. I do kind of mean it, though. I’m torn on it. I think that’s the best way to put it. 

Anyway, Jimmy Fallon read Ryan Gosling some of the reviews of his performance and it was all kind of cute and funny and Gosling was being a good sport about it — ANOTHER THING HE IS GOOD AT, COME ON — and then around the two-minute mark he read this off his card. 

So, three things:

• I would like to issue a small correction here: the subtitles generated by YouTube indicate I wrote “charming little goofball” when what I actually wrote was “charming lil goofball,” which is an important distinction and yet another example of artificial intelligence diluting the work of a creative genius

• It is extremely funny to me that Ryan Gosling is now kind of aware that I think he is a charming lil goofball and am a little mad about it

• I hope he told Eva Mendes

Solid chat here. 

STUFF I CLICKED ON

— I really enjoyed this profile of David Krumholtz, who seems like a good dude

— yes, I will (and did) read an oral history of Parks & Rec

— the nice thing about Curb Your Enthusiasm ending is that it means we get lots of cool stuff like this profile of JB Smoove, who also seems like a good dude

— I would not like to live in the tiny house

— here’s what happened: OJ Simpson died, which resulted in everyone watching the same 10-minute compilation of Norm Macdonald absolutely wrecking him week after week on SNL, which led me down the OJ rabbit hole a bit, which ended with me watching the compilation of David Schwimmer calling him “Juice” in character as Kim Kardashian’s dad on the FX series about the trial, which I was so obsessed with at the time that I started doing a weekly roundup called “The Quest for 100 Juices” that counted how many times he said it in the hopes it would reach triple digits by the end of the season (it did not) (dammit)

— Jeremy Allen White from The Bear is going to play Bruce Springsteen in a new movie, which I mention mostly to show you this adorable blurry selfie that Henry Winkler posted with Bruce Springsteen this week

— LEGO heist

— volcanos are out here blowing smoke rings like a college junior trying to show off in front of some freshmen

— I can’t believe this actually worked!

— Valerie Bertinelli is fed up with the Food Network

— Caitlin Clark showed up on SNL and was really good at it which was great but has her teetering into Gosling “good at too many things” territory

— blue whales, much like hormone-ravaged 19-year-old boys with juiced-up neon Hondas, apparently engage in dangerous races to try to impress females

— good headline: “Roger, overly playful dog who failed police academy, becomes star of Taiwan quake response”

— another good headline: “Who has the best name in the NBA?”

— I suddenly need to hear Pitbull cover Margaritaville

— Willie Nelson rules 

— Allen Iverson got a statue outside the Sixers’ practice facility this week, which is probably the funniest place to put a statue of Allen Iverson with the possible exception of “in the middle of every TGI Friday’s location in the world,” and if you were wondering if he cried during the press conference and it made me cry a little, well, look, Allen Iverson and I both get a little emotional about his career

Okay, that’s all I got. Please share and subscribe and take a minute to picture Allen Iverson watching Surf Dracula.