Reverse Mailbag: What Is The Best Advice You Have To Offer?

Go see a movie by yourself. You deserve it.

Hello and welcome to another Reverse Mailbag, the periodic thing we do where I send out a question to paid subscribers, round up some of my favorite replies, and publish them all here. Everyone else is welcome to dive in under this post in the comments, but if you want to play along and get involved for the next one, you can do that by upgrading your subscription…

This time around, the question I posed was: What is the best advice you have to offer?

I like asking this question because people all have different life experiences and have learned all sorts of different things and, if we all pool this collective information and try to learn from it ourselves, we can get a nice little idea stew going. I love ideas. And stew. No way to lose here.

I’ll give you my two pieces of advice before we get rolling. The first one is “tip well and try to keep all your blood inside your body.” I use this a lot because I believe very strongly in both specific things in there (I say “try” in the second part only because there are a handful of situations — getting blood drawn for tests, donating blood, popping a gross pimple — where letting some blood go is okay) but also because it’s a silly way of getting at a broader point, which is something along the lines of “be good to other people and take care of yourself.”

The second piece of advice requires a little backstory. Many years ago, my sock drawer had delved into chaos. I had a zillion white ankle socks but a bunch had no matches and others were stretched and some were just getting gross. Every day, I’d be digging around in there trying to find something resembling a socially acceptable pair to slap on. It was driving me a little nuts. One day, I snapped and tossed the entire drawer into the trash and went to the store and purchased two big bags of new, matching white ankle socks. It was surprisingly cathartic. My mornings were suddenly like two or three percent easier, which, it turned out, wasn’t nothing. There’s a broader point in here about how a fresh start can be scary but end up being productive and healthy, but I kind of like the more straightforward lesson: “Don’t get stressed out over socks.”

As always, here to help. Now, your answers…

Joanne:

Don’t be afraid to see a movie alone. Yes, it’s fun to go with a significant other/family/friends, but you might have a free afternoon when no one else is available. If there’s a movie you have been wanting to see, go enjoy yourself. You can get your favorite snacks, and you don’t have to share. This is a relaxing and underrated experience.

This is a good one. I started doing it a while ago because I have a job where I need to see movies sometimes and I can’t always wait until everyone coordinates their schedule, but now I just like it. Slink in right at showtime and sit in the back and snack on some popcorn. Don’t stress about someone being late or where you’ll all go out to dinner later or whether one of you wanted to see a different movie but got outvoted and is cranky now. Treat yourself a little bit. It’s kind of lovely.

Eric:

“I believe that if, at the end of it all, according to our abilities, we have done something to make others a little happier, and something to make ourselves a little happier, that is about the best we can do. To make others less happy is a crime. To make ourselves unhappy is where all crime starts. We must try to contribute joy to the world. That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances. We must try.” ― Roger Ebert

I put this poster up in my kids room before they could read, in the hope, that somehow through exposure and repetition, the lesson would sink in even if I failed to set the example.

This quote is from Roger Ebert’s famous blog “Go gentle into that good night,” which is worth reading every year or so. Terrific advice. Terrific human. These words have always resonated with me because Ebert maintained his kindness and humanity even as his body refused to cooperate, which, as someone with a physical disability myself, is kind of my North Star. You could do a lot worse, too.

Steve:

The best advice I have: The absolute best day to shop at any Costco is on Mother’s Day. I randomly went to the one in Brooklyn (where parking is something out of a Mad Max sequel) one Mother’s Day when I had a rental car and I parked and was out in 35 minutes. One of the rare times where being an orphan pays off!

Again, there’s a great broad lesson within this specific one, which is that you can usually find the silver lining in a tough situation if you’re willing to look for it. However, the specific lesson is solid, too, especially if you hate lines and want to essentially own a Costco for a day. I would eat 100 hot dogs. As good as any fancy brunch.

Craig:

Be kind and try. If you can do those two things, understanding that kind isn't always nice, and you make an effort, you will go far.

Matthew:

I’m in the military. It’s full of great people, but also a much higher than average percentage of over muscled assholes who think they know everything. So here’s my advice, which I stole from Patton Oswalt’s quoting of his late wife, Michelle MacNamara: “It’s chaos. Be kind.”

It’s amazing how much those four words have helped me.

Lumping these two together because they take different paths to get to the same point. Just, like, try the best you can to be cool to other people whenever you can. There are times you can’t. There’s not much you can do about that. But as a general rule, it’s good to start from “be kind” and make alterations from there instead of going outside and being a prick until you decide people deserve your kindness. Unless you’re Larry David. It seems to work okay for him.

Kelly:

Drink water. Drink more water than you’re currently drinking.

And for my question: which Philly sports athletes, current or past, would dominate at Holey Moley and why?

A doctor once told me that the best health advice he had was “drink water and get enough sleep.” It’s wild how simple that is. Won’t cure everything but you’ll definitely feel better.

The answer to the second part of this — very sneaky, Kelly, turning to tables on me — is the same answer I have to almost any question about anything: Allen Iverson.

Kevin:

Don’t subscribe to silly things that don’t make sense. For example, you can put ketchup on a hot dog if you want.

Correct. It’s your hot dog. Put whatever the hell you want on it. Life is too short for wiener regret. Although it is okay to subscribe to one thing that rarely makes sense…

Sorry.

Alice:

This is my VERY best advice, that I got out of an US Weekly "Heard on the Street" when I was getting my nails did circa 2009. Kevin Bacon, on how he keeps his marriage with Kyra Sedgwick fresh:

"Keep the sex dirty and the fights clean."

I’ve been married 14 years and think of this often. I give it as advice at every bridal shower/bachelorette party I go to. It hasn’t failed me yet.

What I like about this one is that it comes with a bunch of other pieces of advice. An incomplete list:

• Have a go-to toast you can give at a fancy event

• Listen to Kevin Bacon

• Inspiration can strike anywhere

• Go get your nails done

• Put down your phone and read a magazine

And so on. Strong on a number of levels.

Johnny:

Not doing things can be great, sure, but more often than not, you should just go do that thing. You will have more interesting experiences and a better life if you are out and about than if you are just sitting around the house.

This is a much more eloquent way of saying “touch grass,” which I appreciate because it sounds less hostile and judgmental. I spend too much time inside because I work from home and sometimes I’ll find myself in a bummer mood and then I’ll just, like, go to CVS and goof around with the people at the pharmacy — the people at my CVS are delightful — and suddenly I’m in a better mood. And that’s just going to CVS! That’s, like, an errand! Experiences are good! Have some!

Holly:

A nearly foolproof way to get rid of hiccups is to put a bit of sugar on your tongue and sip some water.

I have no clue if this is true but I’m including it anyway because even if it doesn’t work at least you got to eat some sugar and drink that water you should be drinking more of anyway.

This was great. Thanks to everyone who chipped in. And to everyone who sent in advice that I didn’t have room for. My inbox is flooded with great tips. You guys are the best.

STUFF I CLICKED ON

— my favorite thing I read this week was this really fun and informative investigation into a bird-related error in the 2000 film Charlie’s Angels, which taught me a lot about pygmy nuthatches and what a mess it is to make a movie

— speaking of bird investigations: robin throuple (good fake name)

— interview with the Doughboys boys

— here is a strangely charming AV Club piece from 2015 where Nathan Fielder sits down for an interview with a writer who loves his work and the writer’s mom, who hates it

— lol they were filming Reacher at a Cubs game this weekend and I couldn’t stop thinking about the people who went to a baseball game and missed half of the action because they spent all day like “dude, is that Reacher?”

— good interview with the CEO of The Onion, Ben Collins

— Sesame Street saved

— yes I will watch the new show from the 30 Rock team that stars Tracy Morgan and Daniel Radcliffe

— Jude Law and Andrew Garfield are making a Siegfried and Roy show

— fiberglass cow heist

— this is almost exactly how they stole the DVD players in the first Fast & Furious movie

— Cannes man dressed as a bird

— I am not entirely convinced that Tom Cruise knows he is going to die someday

— I’m still not over the promo picture from the new Madden movie with Christian Bale as Al Davis and Nicolas Cage as John Madden

— I am hyped about this season of the WNBA and was very happy to read the SI cover story on Caitlin Clark and the new-look Fever

— good blog about consumers getting ripshit angry at the wrong people

— Thomas Jefferson’s ice cream recipe

— wild read: “The all-female free divers of Jeju Island have a 'superpower' in their genes”

— look at Dolph Lundgren

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Okay, that’s it for this week. Please share and subscribe and go see a movie by yourself sometime.