some streaming recommendations for the two astronauts who are stuck in space until next year
here to help
The facts here are straightforward:
Two astronauts named Butch and Sunita blasted off from Earth back in June for what was supposed to be an eight-day trip to space
Due to a series of technical difficulties, they are still there today, in August, and probably will not get home until next year
They have got to be so bored up there
This is where I come in. Can I help get them home? No. Do I know anyone in the space program who I can provide assistance to? Also no. But I do watch a lot of television, and I am good at killing time. I can recommend stuff to watch. Buddy, can I ever. And I will, below. All of this operates under the assumption that our space program has working WiFi in the stars and access to all the streaming services, which, like, seems like a reasonable thing to assume to me. Lotta scientists involved here. One of them can figure that out.
Here we go. Some options for the astronauts…
Justified — My top recommendation always for anyone looking for a show to binge. A tough US Marshal and an eloquent Kentucky criminal circle each other like cobras for 78 episodes over eight seasons, complete with jokes and action and maybe the best dialogue you’ll see from a show where characters chase meth dealers through the hollers. Just a blast. Great way to kill time in space.
30 Rock — Need something lighter and fun? Done. 30 Rock was brilliant when it aired on NBC a decade ago and is somehow just as good today. Tracy Morgan should be on every show. At least most of them.
Barbie — My assumption here is that astronauts are busy people and might not have made it to the theater last summer to catch a pop-culture phenomenon like this. No better time to get caught up. Gosling is a revelation.
Lost — Speaking of things they might have missed the first time through, Lost is still streaming today, 20 years after it first premiered. The premise is still interesting, with a group of people stranded alone in a desolate location with no clue when or how they’ll ever get back h-… okay, maybe this isn’t the best one for the astronauts. Might hit a little close to home.
Out of Sight — A perfect movie. Clooney as a thief, Jennifer Lopez as the cop hunting him down, sexual tension so thick you would have to finish cooking it in the oven to be sure the middle isn’t still raw. Incredibly rewatchable. A great way to spend two hours floating through the cosmos.
Columbo — Hey, did you know pretty much every episode of Columbo is just sitting there on Peacock for you to watch at your leisure? I mean, honestly, talk about comfort food. Exactly what you need to kill some time. I might start a rewatch myself this winter when it’s cold and dark on Earth. You could do worse.
The 2018 Super Bowl — Perhaps I am biased as a perpetually unwell Philadelphia Eagles fan, but it’s nice to know that their entire Super Bowl victory against the Patriots is on YouTube any time I need a little jolt of energy. Your mileage may vary depending on what (if any) team you root for, but I do think it would be funny if these two went into space rooting for other teams and came home months later rabid fans of the Eagles who say “Go Birds” in their first press conference.
Castaway — Speaking of rewatchable, there’s always this classic about Tom Hanks marooned on an island by himself with no w-… wait, no. This is another bad idea. Disregard.
Extraordinary — A delightful little British comedy about a world where everyone gets a superpower at age 18 except for one young woman who has to navigate life as a normal human in a world of superhumans. Sweet, hilarious, touching, profane, just a great little ride.
Peaky Blinders — A crime show set in Europe about Cillian Murphy and his cheekbones leading his family through the underworld while smoking cigarettes. One of my favorite shows ever made. Tom Hardy shows up as a mumblemouthed bootlegger eventually. I think the astronauts would enjoy it.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia — A zillion episodes of a wacky comedy about awful people getting into trouble. Start it from episode one and take the ride over like 20 years of mean-spirited and silly goofs. And remember: Danny DeVito does not have to be doing this. He’s a legend in Hollywood and could very easily see himself as above it all. He’s doing it because he wants to. There’s something commendable in that.
The Movies of the Mission: Impossible Franchise — One a week will buy you a few months. Let Tom Cruise soothe you with a series of increasingly dangerous stunt work . It’s something.
The Martian — Matt Damon plays an astronaut who is left out all alone on M-… okay, yeah. This one is a bad choice too. I should have recognized that before I started typing. This one is on me.
STUFF I TYPED
— my season finale House of the Dragon Scorecard for Vulture, which crowns a winner for season two and laments the lack of dragon fights
— I also convinced Vulture to let me write about kayak cross, an Olympic event I did not understand at all but still loved very much
— my Five Spot newsletter for last week, which opens with an extended riff on the Australian man who flooded the black market with Bluey currency
STUFF I CLICKED ON
— Ryan Nanni did a great blog about the RFK bear story, a thing that happened somehow both six days and 100 years ago
— Rodger Sherman wrote about Raygun, the star of the Olympics, for better and worse
— Vanity Fair has a big thing about the new SNL movie but the highlight for me is the pictures of Matthew Rhys smiling, which I, as someone who watched The Americans, did not know was possible
— Baby Billy is back, babyyyy
— it is wild that a former president was almost assassinated a few weeks and one of the main fallouts so far is Tenacious D breaking up and maybe reuniting???
— let Big Boi announce one baseball game every week
— I feel bad for Ben Affleck but this is tremendous content
— “Zac Efron is ‘happy and healthy’ after recovering from swimming pool incident in Ibiza”
— I am ready for the sequel to Wolfs even though the first movie hasn’t even come out yet
— Pommel Horse Guy and Elmo are almost too pure
— the Boner 4ever building in Philly lives to fight another day
— a California teacher found a bear in her classroom and that is very scary but it’s hard to be scared when I’m giggling about how perfect her last name is
— this was the best guy at the Olympics
Okay, that’s enough for this week. Please subscribe and share and try not to get stuck in space.
I'm too old to figure out how to make a meme, but picture a still from that scene in Apollo 13 where the engineers come into a room with a box of everything that's in the spaceship and say "Here's what you have available to get those guys home" and superimposed on the filters, tubes, etc. are the logos of the shows on the list above.
You've seen Rhys in the wine show, right? The one that's just him and a friend drinking wine and having fun?