the attempted theft of Graceland went and got substantially weirder

an update to our previous coverage

Roughly 100 years ago, back in May, I wrote about the plot to steal the Graceland estate out from under the family of Elvis Presley. The title of that newsletter was “it sure looks like a bunch of idiots tried to steal Graceland” because, well, at the time it really did look like a bunch of idiots tried to steal Graceland. There were feuding investment companies and shady emails and all of it pointed toward an entity called Naussany Investments that may or may not have existed, with messages from a Gregory and Kurt Naussany that implied the two of them got in way over their heads very quickly and wanted to back out of it all without going to prison. Which was interesting on a number of levels, one of which being that neither of them or their company seemed to exist on paper anywhere. Hmm.

A few days after all of that went down and started to implode, evidence emerged that pointed to a different culprit, a lone wolf, one who was not Gregory or Kurt Naussany but was instead a career con woman and grandmother from Branson, Missouri. NBC News detailed a wild ride and a number of aliases and came to the conclusion that both Naussanys and the lawyer who represented them were actually all sock puppets run by a lady named Lisa Holden, who might have also gone by Lisa Howell or Lisa Sullins or Lisa Findley. I really recommend you read the whole thing. It’s basically Catch Me If You Can but with fewer airplanes and more burner emails and maybe instead of Leonardo DiCaprio the con artist is played by… oh, let’s go with Jennifer Coolidge. 

Anyway, this past week, that woman, now officially identified as Lisa Findley, was arrested and charged with just a slew of crimes related to it all and the filings are a real roller coaster of deceit. The Hollywood Reporter rounded up a bunch of the notable information from the documents, but I need to bring these to your attention…

“We are now prepared to Foreclose on secured property Graceland and hold Public Auction in 20 (twenty) days,” Findley, representing herself as Naussany Investments owner Kurt Naussany, wrote in an email to [Riley] Keough’s lawyers in April. “We have tried relentlessly reaching out and no cooperation.”

A month later, Findley, this time representing herself as lawyer Carolyn Williams, sent another message stating that it was prepared to hold the auction if the settlement offer wasn’t accepted. “Bidding takes place May 23, 2024 from 10 am to 12 pm to highest bidder,” the complaint says she stated in an email.

So what we have here so far is Findley allegedly representing herself as both the investment company and their lawyer, which is a lot. But here’s where things take a truly wild turn…

And when the fake investment firm was sued in Tennessee state court to stop the sale of the estate, Findley wrote to representatives for Presley’s family and the media denying involvement in the alleged scheme while blaming Naussany, her other fake identity, prosecutors allege.

“I myself did not do the loan, although I have known [Lisa Marie Presley] for many years,” she wrote, representing herself as Williams. “I believe Greg Naussany did the loan process. Greg and I are no longer partnered together. I have ventured out, [s]o whoever is filing paperwork may need to look at documents again.”

To be clear, what we have here is Findley — again, allegedly — responding to legal threats by pretending to be a lawyer who was close personal friends with Lisa Marie Presley and was also involved in a mini-feud between brothers(?) Kurt and Gregory Naussany whose investment company was in disarray because one of them stepped away from the business. All really just incredible stuff.

In conclusion:

• If everything alleged in these documents is accurate, Findley really missed her calling as a mystery novelist, if only because all the twists in here reveal a relentlessly creative mind

• I am increasingly serious about making this movie with Jennifer Coolidge as the lead 

• I will continue using screencaps of Jack White as Elvis Presley in Walk Hard every time I discuss this story 

I really hope this sucker goes to trial and she attempts to represent herself. Let’s just do it all, man. 

STUFF I TYPED

— this week’s Five Spot is mostly about how much fun Bad Monkey is but there’s also some stuff in there about an actual kangaroo jailbreak

— I didn’t write anything else this week but I do have a follow-up to something I wrote earlier: A few weeks ago, in my newsletter about the accessible van I drive with a joystick, I mentioned that “Baby One More Time” was blasting out of my car two separate times as I pulled into an appointment because the local pop radio station has been bumping 90s pop hits around 3pm this summer. Which they still are. Which is why some very confused older gentleman next to me at a traffic light last week had about 30 seconds to wrap his mind around a man in a power wheelchair behind the wheel of a minivan absolutely vibing out to “Genie in a Bottle” by Christina Aguilera. I would give $50 to hear how he explained this when he got home. 

STUFF I CLICKED ON

— favorite thing I read this week was this evisceration of the ESPN Bet television show, which I watched by accident for a few minutes and came away feeling empty and sad

— great blog about sports and saving a whole dang city (or trying to, at least)

— I will read any interview with the creator of Reservation Dogs

— I wrote about the big Clooney-Pitt interview in my Five Spot newsletter on Friday but here it is again

— a lovely profile of Richard Kind, a lovely man

— speaking of Richard Kind, he pops up in the new trailer for the next season of Only Murders in the Building 

— horses are smart enough to plan and scheme so maybe they can try to steal Graceland next

— roughly 19 people sent me the story about the chicken wing RICO but credit to the great Mo Ryan for being first

— we got water on Mars

— Denmark has decriminalized the spicy Korean noodles 

— real groundhog found in claw machine next to stuffed animals 

— Banksy rhino art

— I did not know the full bio of the Famous Amos cookie creator until I read his obituary this week, which was a wild ride

— I feel like I do not want to see the Anthony Bourdain movie??? 

— thank you, Luda

— Kacey Musgraves sang the Sixers song for reasons I do not understand but approve of fully

— huge week for Phillies legend John Kruk, who got national attention thanks to a compilation of wacky things he said that ran on Last Week Tonight, thenadmitted to wearing an AirTag so he doesn’t get lost in the stadium during games, and then responded to the aforementioned compilation in the most John Kruk way possible

@nbcsphillyOn a recent episode of "Last Week Tonight with John Oliver" a montage was displayed of John Kruk, compiling some of his most bizarre quotes and stories from the Phillies' broadcast booth. 😂 👏

Tiktok failed to load.

Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser

Okay, that’s it for this week. Please share and subscribe and try to avoid running a complicated and doomed scheme to steal the home of a famous musician.